Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
