I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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