mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
