I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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