Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I believe in your delicious
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
