I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
