New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
