bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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