i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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