He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Alive.
So much puke
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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