Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i came on her dog
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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