Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
