I think I died a long time ago.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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