..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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