He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
