honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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