Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
