Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
