I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
