Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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