She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
