For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize