you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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