Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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