Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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