yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
