shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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