well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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