I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
