i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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