i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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