Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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