I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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