just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
