Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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