that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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