You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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