went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
As shirtless as possible
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
