I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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