Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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