so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
