so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
