I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
