I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
