ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
