morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How external is "for external use only"?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
