I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
