I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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