his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
