they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
