they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
