thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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