Please, let me fuck your mom
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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