I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
