He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
