you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
