i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
