so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize