Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
