I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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