they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
